Scars
by the-writer1988
Summary: Riku didn't want to return to Destiny Islands. Sora's optimism changed his mind. Little does Sora know, the scars Riku carries with him run deep. And they refuse to go away.


**Hello all. This is my first ever attempt at a Kingdom Hearts story. It's just a small one-shot but I am nervous about posting it!**

* * *

 **Title:** Scars

 **Author:** the-writer1988

 **Rating:** K+

 **Summary:** Riku didn't want to return to Destiny Islands. Sora's optimism changed his mind. Little does Sora know, the scars Riku carries with him run deep. And they refuse to go away.

 **Characters:** Sora, Riku and Kairi

 **Period:** Set after KH2, but before the scene after the end credits.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.

* * *

 **Scars**

Strands of Kairi's hair swept past her face as she stood beside Sora, looking out at the sparkling sea. It was a calm peaceful day, though a slight breeze whipped around them as they stood on the edge of the beach with the sun beating down upon them.

They had been back on Destiny Islands for just over a week. Today was the first time they had even been allowed out of their own homes since their return. Understandable considering Sora had been missing for nearly two years. Kairi had disappeared a few months ago, so naturally their parents were being more protective of them. Though they had kept in daily contact with one another during their first week back, this was the first time they'd had the chance to be alone together.

They were, however, missing one person from their little group.

Their friend: Riku.

Though he had kept in contact with them, he had remained quiet, only speaking when spoken to and not reaching out to his friends: which was why Sora and Kairi had rowed out to the Play Island in hope of finding their friend.

"Do you think Riku is here?" asked Sora. He seemed doubtful, partly because he had spent the best part of a year looking for his best friend. He had later learned Riku hadn't wanted to be found. And he seemed to have become adept at hiding from his best friend. He figured if Riku didn't want to be found on Destiny Islands, he would find a way to ensure no one found him.

Kairi nodded. "He's not on the main island." She glanced at Sora, her blue eyes beseeching him. "And I think…after everything that has happened Riku might want to be here. It's peaceful and secluded. There are places here where one can be alone."

Sora cocked his head to the side. "But it's also where everything started. Where it all went…" he hesitated slightly, "…wrong." On this very island had been where Riku had taken the first steps towards the darkness. He didn't blame his friend – they had all been young and naïve – and as they had later realised, Riku had been manipulated all along. Riku didn't need his friends to hate him, he needed them to help him understand that a greater force was responsible for his actions and twisting this mind.

"Sometimes going back is a good thing," added Kairi, as they continued to pad along the beach towards the steps. "I used to spend all my time on the play island after I returned here because it helped me to remember you and Riku. When your memory began to fade, I refused to come here. But when I remembered you, I returned."

Sora scratched the back of his neck. "I guess it must have been strange when you remembered me, huh?"

"The memories started to come back bit by bit and then suddenly it all came back," replied Kairi. "It wasn't just me, it was everyone else too."

Sora hung his head. "I'm sorry."

They stopped on the pathway beside a flowing waterfall.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. The last thing I remember is standing in front of a castle. The next I was waking up in a pod in a mansion in Twilight Town," explained Sora wistfully. "I wish I could explain it but I can't. If everyone forgot about me then it has something to do with my memories. I know I'm missing why I needed to sleep…"

Kairi stepped in front of Sora. "Doesn't that bother you? Not knowing?"

Sora shrugged. "Not really. I guess a part of me knows it was necessary and that stops me from being curious about it. And… I just have this feeling, you know, that Riku was there to watch over me."

Both teenagers knew Riku had been manipulated into joining the side of darkness, and in doing so had allowed his own body to be possessed by Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness. Before his possession, he had tried to kill Sora but they had forgiven him for his transgressions. The Riku they knew had been used. Since Sora had defeated Ansem, Riku had worked to make up for his mistakes. One of them had been to rescue Kairi from Nobodies and lead her to Sora. He had even sacrificed his own physical appearance to ensure Sora could wake up from his sleep. Yet since returning home, Riku had been avoiding his friends – apart from when they had contacted him, but he had always sought to end the conversation quickly - and that morning Riku's parents had expressed concern for their son's mental state.

Out of the three friends, no matter what Sora and Kairi had seen in their adventures, it was Riku who had suffered the most and there were scars left that would not easily heal.

"Do you think he will talk about happened to him?" queried Kairi uncertainly. "Riku's changed… He's not who he was before the Islands disappeared."

Sora visibly swallowed. "I don't think any of us are. We've changed too, Kairi. We've grown up."

"But…" Kairi bit her lip, "You're still you. And I'm still me. But Riku… he's changed to a completely different person. Why him? Why not us?"

Sora blew out air, shrugging his shoulders. "He made choices that have affected him. We can try to get the old Riku back but I don't think we will. All we can do is support him, I guess."

"I think so too," she said, grabbing Sora's hand. "Come on, let's go find him."

* * *

He sat in front of the Secret Door, his eyes focused upon the keyhole in the wooden door. He could remember when he was last here. It had been the day he had begun to step down a dark path, when he had opened the door, allowing the Heartless to consume his home.

Riku hung his head in shame, his long hair falling over his shoulders, covering his eyes. Why had he opened the door?

He knew why.

Riku closed his eyes, his mind drifting back to that day. He could see himself standing in front of the door, a figure in a brown cloak standing behind him, telling him to open the door, as it would give him a way to escape his world. His heart had told him not to listen to the cloaked figure, but Riku had taken no notice. For the first time he had summoned his Keyblade – the one that Sora had eventually claimed as his own - and he had opened the door. Letting in the Heartless and engulfing it in darkness. He had no idea that he had destroyed the Islands until he had been told during his time in Castle Oblivion.

He had destroyed the Islands.

 _The Islands._

He hadn't even thought about his actions. He had been selfish.

Full of himself.

In fact, looking back on his younger self, Riku realised he had been an arrogant prick. He hadn't thought of the consequences. He had just thought of himself and what he had wanted. Escaping the Islands had been his priority. He had wanted to leave and he would have done anything to achieve that. On reflection, Riku knew if his actions were going to lead to the end of Destiny Islands, he would never have opened the door.

But if it hadn't of been for Sora, Destiny Islands might not have been restored. If Sora had not stayed true to their friendship then Riku would either be lost completely to the darkness or dead. Riku owed a lot to Sora. He had tried to repay for the mistakes he had made by aiding Sora…yet he didn't feel he deserved the chance of forgiveness. In Riku's mind, he would never be able to earn forgiveness.

Joining the forces of darkness had not been the worst thing he had done.

No, that was the least of the terrible things he had committed.

He had helped Maleficent kidnap the seven princesses of Heart. Even at the start he'd had misgivings of why Maleficent had wanted his help with that – now he knew why: she had wanted to expose him to the darkness. And he had _enjoyed_ having power – the thought made him shudder. He really had been an arrogant little prick.

Riku sighed, his mind still going over all the atrocities he had committed.

He had betrayed Sora, betrayed the very foundation of their friendship. For as long as Riku could remember, Sora had been there from the very beginning. He couldn't remember a day without his best friend… and he had thrown his best friend away as if Sora had meant nothing to him.

The truth was that he had cared for Sora. He had felt threatened when Sora became capable of defending himself. Wasn't Riku supposed to be the one to protect his friends? Wasn't he meant to be the hero? The one with the power?

But Sora gaining the power to wield the Keyblade and travelling with Donald and Goofy had driven his jealousy to anger. Manipulated by Maleficent, Riku had come to the conclusion that Sora had thrown his friends away. Even when Sora had tried to tell him that he had been searching for both Kairi and himself, Riku had not been able to believe him. Instead he had become increasingly more hostile to his best friend.

Even engaging him in combat.

And…

Riku swallowed.

This was the worst part of all.

He had tried to kill Sora.

Kill his best friend.

When he had failed to do so and Sora had beaten him, Riku had run away, further into Hollow Bastion where he had met Ansem for a second time. He had willingly allowed Ansem to give him more power, ready to embrace the darkness so he could protect his one remaining friend: Kairi.

But Ansem had lied to him.

Instead of helping Riku and giving him more power, he had possessed Riku. Taking his body for his own and shutting Riku's heart and consciousness away. All Riku could do was watch as Ansem tried to kill Sora to extract Kairi's heart from him. From that moment on Riku had been trying to break through the boundaries of his prison to regain control of his body but he had failed.

Sora had beaten Ansem but then realised Kairi wouldn't have woken up from her comatose state unless her heart was released from his own heart. So the young boy had released his heart, freeing Kairi's in the process, thereby completing the final keyhole for Ansem.

Ansem had then made moves to kill Kairi.

Riku had stopped him, briefly succeeding in materialising his heart and soul outside his body, leaving Ansem immobilised, giving Kairi and the others a chance to escape.

It had been the beginning of his penance for the atrocities he had committed.

Nothing he did would ever make him forget that he had wanted to kill his best friend. And had come close to succeeding as well if it hadn't of been for Goofy.

In the dim darkness of the Secret Place, Riku hung his head. "I betrayed my best friend," he whispered quietly. "How can I forgive myself? How can Sora look at me? After all I've done to try to make up for my mistakes, do I deserve forgiveness?"

Riku felt like crying.

* * *

After searching the entire Play Island for their friend, they discovered him in the last place they had looked: in the Secret Place behind the waterfall. Dim light from the outside gave way to the darkness inside, but still they could see their friend sitting in front of the door to the heart of Destiny Islands.

Sora walked forward and sat down beside his friend. Kairi seated herself on Riku's left. He did not acknowledge their presence.

"Hey," Sora eventually asked.

Riku merely grunted back.

"Riku?" Kairi moved slight forward, turning her head to try to look underneath the long length of hair covering his features. "We're worried about you."

"Why would you be worried about me?" he asked quietly after a long pause of silence.

Sora felt puzzled. "Riku… we're still your friends… aren't we?"

"Do you still want to be?" asked Riku, turning to look at Sora with his ice-blue eyes. "After what I've done?"

"Riku…" Kairi gently rested her hand on Riku's arm. "Of course we do. No matter what your mistakes were, we forgive you. You made up for it."

"It doesn't change anything, especially when I wanted to kill Sora," stated Riku. He looked at his best friend. "Regardless of my actions, the scars will never heal. I can never forgive myself!"

Sora remained calm. "Did you want to kill me before we left the Islands?"

"No."

Sora smiled. "Then it doesn't matter." The smile echoed in his voice.

"How can it not matter?" Riku's voice was rising, more that he couldn't understand why Sora could forgive so easily, rather than the fact he was angry. "I wanted to kill you. I nearly succeeded!"

"But you didn't," said Sora sagely. "You were influenced. Maleficent twisted the truth. She brought out the darkness in you, allowing you to be easily led."

"I do not believe for one second that you would want to kill Sora if you hadn't fallen into the hands of that witch," said Kairi, folding her arms across her chest. "The Riku we know would never do that."

Riku bit his lip and Sora watched him carefully.

"It doesn't matter what happened because in the end we all came back for one another," explained Sora. "Riku, I didn't need to forgive you because there is nothing for me to forgive you for. You made some bad mistakes," he shrugged, "but you made up for them."

"That says a lot about your character," Kairi said gently. "You were led astray but you came back to us. I know I said earlier that we forgive you but Sora is right – there is nothing to forgive you for. You joined the darkness but you found the light again. Isn't that all that matters?"

Riku sighed and climbed to his feet, stepping away from his two friends.

"Riku?" Sora queried, confused.

Riku turned to face them and with his right hand outstretched, summoned his keyblade – a demonic, angelic blade which seemed to represent the two sides of Riku's heart: the half of light and the half of darkness. "Do I deserve the right to wield one? The Keyblade chose Sora over me because my heart is weak. What changed to give me this one?"

Sora scratched his head, glancing at Kairi.

"You proved yourself worthy, Riku," answered Kairi. "I don't know much about Keyblades but I think you have to earn the right to wield one. Somewhere along the way, you earned the right and it came back to you."

"There's something I don't get. How did you know that the Keyblade I had was meant for you?" questioned Sora.

Riku frowned and then he shrugged. "I just did."

Kairi scowled. "That's a lie."

Sighing, the older boy turned away from then, staring at the door to the heart of Destiny Islands. His voice was low but when he spoke they could sense the truth in his words. "I have a vague memory of meeting someone from the outside world. I think he bequeathed me the power to wield one. That is how I know I was meant to have one. And… I used the one that went to Sora to open the door to his world and let the heartless in."

Kairi frowned. "Why would you open the door?" They hadn't known about that.

"I was told to," said Riku shortly. "I was led to believe it would give me freedom. I didn't know what the consequences would be and I didn't find out until later on."

"Who said that to you?" asked Sora, though he could pretty much guess who it had been.

"Ansem."

"He was here? The night Destiny Island's vanished?" Sora's mouth was agape in surprise.

"He was just a figure in a brown robe who explained it to me. He told me to use the key and unlock my power. Because I wanted to get off the islands, and that vague memory, I knew I had a power of some kind. I called on it and the keyblade appeared," Riku explained, turning to look at his two friends. They could see sorrow had filled his eyes.

"Doesn't it strike you as odd Ansem knew you had potential?" Kairi pointed out.

Sora had been about to say something more about seeing Ansem himself before the fall of the Islands but Kairi's question got him thinking too.

"What if," Kairi theorised, "Ansem targeted you for a reason?"

Riku was silent though they could see he was going over the possibility in his mind.

"What if Ansem knew the person you say you've met? What if they told Ansem about you?" Kairi finished. "I don't think he needed you to open the door on Destiny Islands. Other worlds had fallen before then. I think he wanted you specifically because you could wield a keyblade."

"It's… possible…" admitted Riku finally. "But it doesn't change that I am still guilty, whether I was manipulated or not. I went along with it. And yet somehow I still have a Keyblade!" He dismissed his weapon and stared at his two best friends.

"You have a strong heart," replied Sora. "It was weak for a while but that doesn't mean it can't become strong again."

Kairi nodded. "No matter what you did under Ansem's influence, you still came back to us. Sora never gave up on you because he knew you were still in there. He still fought for you. We both know you are bone-headed, Riku," she grinned, using a regular insult they had used in the days before their adventures.

Sora picked up from where she had left off. "But there was still something in that skull of yours that realised you were wrong. Instead of running away, you took the courageous path and tried to help. No matter what you did, everything returned to the way it was, right?"

* * *

Riku couldn't believe what he was hearing. He didn't deserve their forgiveness; he didn't deserve to be happy. He didn't deserve the Keyblade.

And yet he had the potential to have all three – if he allowed himself to look past his mistakes and focus on the present.

The point that Ansem had targeted him deliberately had caused Riku to think but there was no point considering that option since he would never be able to find out if that was true or not. Ansem was dead.

Even so, if that was true and he had been deliberately targeted, it didn't absolve him of the crimes he had committed.

Yet both Sora and Kairi could look past that. King Mickey, who had helped save him from the remnant of Ansem inside his heart in Castle Oblivion, had done so as well. What had made him worth saving? Sora… Kairi… Mickey… All of them had fought to save him – it had taken possession and Ansem's attempt to kill Kairi before Riku had turned his back on the path he had started to walk.

"What made me worth saving?" he asked quietly. He needed an answer to that question.

Both of his friends exchanged weary looks and then turned smiling faces back at him.

"Because," stated Sora simply, "you are our friend. You are worth saving."

Kairi nodded in affirmation. "It doesn't matter what you did. What matters is that you realised you were wrong and you _fought back_ and tried to help us. You lost your body but that didn't stop your heart from trying to defend me, did it?"

"You helped me close the door to Kingdom Hearts," added Sora, beginning to count down on his fingers what Riku had done that had aided him rather than hindered him. "What else… Oh yeah, you watched over me, didn't you when I was asleep?"

Riku shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Yes," he confirmed.

"You kept Sora safe," pointed Kairi. "And you helped bring him home."

"And you sacrificed your physical appearance to get me to wake up too," continued Sora, counting down another finger on his right hand. "A true friend would do anything for those they care about."

Riku couldn't help but wonder if Sora was enjoying himself with this conversation.

Then Sora straightened and adopted a more sombre tone. "And you saved me in our final battle with Xemnas. You took the blow meant for me. You could have been killed."

"You're worth saving, Sora. You're the hero. The world needs you," Riku pointed out. He didn't feel the same way about himself, not after what he had done.

"So are you," pressed Kairi. "If you hadn't protected Sora, then none of us would be here now. You're a hero too, even if you are not recognised for it."

He realised they were trying to make him understand but the scars still lingering inside him made acceptance difficult.

"It doesn't matter if you don't forgive yourself, Riku," explained Sora quietly, "what matters is that we still want to know you and help you. All of us are in this together. No matter what happens, where we go, we will always need one another. Remember what I said to you back at Hollow Bastion before I got the Keyblade back?"

Riku nodded slowly, recalling the speech Sora had given him, shortly before he had been possessed by Ansem.

" _Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone. It's grown with each new experience. And it's found a home with all the friends I've made. I've become a part of their heart, just as they've become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then, if they don't forget me, then our hearts will be one. I don't need a weapon. My_ _friends_ _are my power!"_

"That's where our strength is. Together we are strong, apart we are weak," finished Sora.

"But you were strong without me," answered Riku, though he could see his friend's point. Sora had retained his belief in Riku despite what he had been trying to do. And he'd had faith when Riku tried to help him close the door to the realm of Darkness. He hadn't pushed him away, instead eagerly accepted his help.

Sora reached forward, placing a hand on Riku's arm. "But I'm stronger with you. I couldn't have defeated Xemnas without you."

His friends fell silent, watching him carefully.

He knew he would always look back and feel guilty. It meant a lot that his friends had chosen to stand by him instead of shutting him out. He would still have the scars etched into his heart but when he had fallen into darkness – when Ansem had taken his body – the thought of his friends had kept him strong. It had enabled him to fight back. Even in Castle Oblivion when the piece of Ansem that remained in his heart had been taunting him, friendship had been a part of the reason he had fought so hard. In the end he had won.

When he had sacrificed his own appearance to that of Ansem, he had not lost his way, for his thoughts for his friends had kept the darkness at bay.

"Perhaps that is why I earned a Keyblade again," he said quietly. "Because I understood friendship and loyalty. Everything I did was to help someone else rather than myself. I worked in the shadows for the realm of light." Riku slowly walked forward, his friends following behind him. They knew he needed this – needed to talk – because the conclusion he was coming to was one they wanted him to come to. Instead of shying away from it, Riku walked towards it. "The shadows on my heart didn't keep me at bay though they tried to. I couldn't – I wouldn't – let it get me again. I refused to become weak. The scars I carry with me, deep inside, will be a reminder of what I went through and what I did to get to where I am today. The scars are a part of me and always will be."

He had reached the entrance to the Secret Place, stepping out into the sunlight of the Play Island beach, away from the darkness he had been residing in. The sun hit his face, warming his cheeks and the light sea breeze air blew his long hair away from his face.

"With the help of my friends, the scars can heal. Maybe someday I can forgive myself," he smiled ruefully, feeling lighter for the first time in ages. He glanced at Sora who stood on his left side. "Like you said, together we are strong, apart we are weak."

Sora nodded. "Friends are not just my power either, they are yours too. I don't think you knew that. What made you strong was us."

Kairi's hair whipped past her face. "We have to face the future together. No matter what happens we will always be together. Whatever scars we have, we will always help each other."

Riku closed his eyes, breathing in the sea-deep breeze. He felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. At last he understood and could accept. Sora had come to that realisation years ago and had embraced it. It had taken until now for Riku to fully understand the meaning. Without his friends he was nothing, just a pawn of the darkness. With them he was strong.

Opening his eyes, he looked around at his two friends and grasped their hands. "My friends will always be my power."

 **~End~**

 **A/N) Please let me know what you think!**

 **I am well aware that the last line was cheesy but I thought it fit with the lesson Riku has learned in this one-shot. I did find this story quite difficult to write as being my first fic in this fandom, I wasn't too sure if I had got the characters right or not.**

 **I did put in one of my own little theories about Kingdom Hearts - the one about Riku being deliberately targeted by Ansem. I think it is possible - and considering what we know of Ansem's origins then its feasible to me at least. And putting in that theory worked for the story I think.**

 **I would be grateful for feedback and thoughts on this one-shot as I am contemplating writing a larger Kingdom Hearts fic but I am unsure of doing so...**

 **Thank you for reading.**

 **the-wrtier1988**


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